I love the desert. There are times when the heat is nearly unbearable, it is true. But if one takes a close look, you find a beauty all its own. The cacti in bloom, and the myriad of animal life is astounding. I love to watch the rabbits hop across the plain, adroitly avoiding the cacti yet slipping some place unseen. The snakes slithering in the sand leave dusty trails behind warning of their presence. The cactus wrens, woodpeckers, crows, roadrunners and quail peck out their domains among the wild flowers. Eagles soar in the skies above along with the buzzards.
One of the most interesting of the wild life is the quail. I first encountered them close up at a workplace surrounded by the desert. I thought perhaps they were birds that could not fly, as I saw them scurry across the road; Mama, Papa, with five or six little ones in tow. Then, one day I nearly ran over one who was running headlong without caution into the pathway of my car. suddenly, he spread his wings and rose above the peril, much to my relief! It was then I realized, all quail can fly!
In fact, I began to notice that they were sitting on fences, roofs, and even telephone poles. Why do they take such risks, then, running across the road, even in the middle of the summer when the pavement is very hot? I could understand families, when the chicks were too young to fly, but I noticed that more often than not, I would have to stop or slowly pass as adult quail made their run for the other side of the road. I observed no other desert birds with this mentality.
It remains a mystery to me that something created to fly would choose to remain earthbound, even endangering themselves, exposing themselves to heat and soil and cars.
Yet, when I think about it, don't I do the same? As God's child, I am created to soar in His Spirit, to be an overcomer, to rise above circumstances and obstacles in my path. But i choose to think in an earthly manner, with limitations and allowing myself to be "under the circumstances". I give in to depression and fear. I take risks unnecessarily, cross paths I could rise above. I run headlong without caution into decision and reactions not consistent with my standing as God's child. I think like a quail instead of an eagle!
The mystery remains, but I suspect that God put those quail in my path to make me slow down and to make me question my thinking; to challenge me to soar like an eagle as the Scripture says. But that requires waiting..."Wait on the Lord and you will renew your strength, you will mount up with wings as eagles, you shall run and not be weary, walk and not faint." I do not wait well.
but now, when I have occasion to pass those little quail, I take time to think god's thoughts about my life. Thank you, God, for those impetuous little quail!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
LAZARUS LESSON
The Lord has arrived on the scene! But many of us have experienced a “death” of some sort in our lives. The death of a dream, a hope, or a part of our personality. We feel that He has come to late, just like Mary and Martha felt when Lazarus died. And then Jesus came.
When He arrived, He told them to take away the stone from his grave. He used other people to begin the restoration process in Lazarus. Some argued with Him, that Lazarus’ body would smell badly by then. But Jesus commanded the stone be moved anyway. There was effort put forth by those moving the stone, who may or may not have believed something good was about to happen.
Then Jesus called Lazarus forth. Lazarus, having been dead three days, heard the Voice of the Lord and came out…bound still in his grave clothes…but out he came! Then Jesus commanded again, those around him, to “loose him and set him free!” Take off those smelly grave clothes so he can live again.
Grave clothes would be smelly. They may be hard to unwind. Lazarus may have flinched or resisted (like a child from whom a band aide is being removed). It may have hurt a bit. Lazarus’ skin may not have been used to the blood flowing through his veins and may have been numb or tingly. The Bible doesn’t say, but it stands to reason that the task of “loosing” him was neither pleasant nor simple.
I feel like the Lord is saying that He is calling forth the dead areas in us now. We respond, even in our deadness, to His Voice. Yet, we appear still wrapped in grave clothes, perhaps unable to truly comprehend His calling. We may be finding it hard to believe we are alive again. Numbness and “touchiness” may plague us momentarily. That is why He has set us in families. We need each other. We need only to obey what the Lord tells us to do for each other, not to judge the potential outcomes. God will give us the strength to roll away the stones, strip off the grave clothes, etc. as we step out in commitment to obedience and to support each other.
The main thing that Lazarus and all those who loved him, and the main thing that we, who are alive again by the Spirit of the Lord, need to remember is: Lazarus came out of that grave! And he came out well…not still suffering from whatever put him in the grave in the first place. When Jesus calls us out…He sets us free! The past no longer has any hold on us. And even the smell of the past deadness is gone by the power of Jesus’ Name!
When He arrived, He told them to take away the stone from his grave. He used other people to begin the restoration process in Lazarus. Some argued with Him, that Lazarus’ body would smell badly by then. But Jesus commanded the stone be moved anyway. There was effort put forth by those moving the stone, who may or may not have believed something good was about to happen.
Then Jesus called Lazarus forth. Lazarus, having been dead three days, heard the Voice of the Lord and came out…bound still in his grave clothes…but out he came! Then Jesus commanded again, those around him, to “loose him and set him free!” Take off those smelly grave clothes so he can live again.
Grave clothes would be smelly. They may be hard to unwind. Lazarus may have flinched or resisted (like a child from whom a band aide is being removed). It may have hurt a bit. Lazarus’ skin may not have been used to the blood flowing through his veins and may have been numb or tingly. The Bible doesn’t say, but it stands to reason that the task of “loosing” him was neither pleasant nor simple.
I feel like the Lord is saying that He is calling forth the dead areas in us now. We respond, even in our deadness, to His Voice. Yet, we appear still wrapped in grave clothes, perhaps unable to truly comprehend His calling. We may be finding it hard to believe we are alive again. Numbness and “touchiness” may plague us momentarily. That is why He has set us in families. We need each other. We need only to obey what the Lord tells us to do for each other, not to judge the potential outcomes. God will give us the strength to roll away the stones, strip off the grave clothes, etc. as we step out in commitment to obedience and to support each other.
The main thing that Lazarus and all those who loved him, and the main thing that we, who are alive again by the Spirit of the Lord, need to remember is: Lazarus came out of that grave! And he came out well…not still suffering from whatever put him in the grave in the first place. When Jesus calls us out…He sets us free! The past no longer has any hold on us. And even the smell of the past deadness is gone by the power of Jesus’ Name!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A New Beginning
God is a god of new beginnings, of another chance, of love and grace. For all those things I am grateful. I realized yesterday, as I met with a hurting relative, that He reaches down continually to share those things with us, yet at times, we get lost in our problems and fail to look up. I also realized that some of us have been beaten down so much, sometimes in the name of "God" or the Bible, or church, or religion, that we cannot grasp the concept of Him even wanting to love us, much less help us.
We have lost the idea of a personal and caring God. Americans are supposed to be self-sufficient, self=motivating, and independent. But has this caused us to feel that we do not need God? And from there, our meager attempts to control and rule our lives produce depression and anxiety when we cannot rise above circumstances brought on by outside forces such as other people and systems. We feel like failures when our own bodies let us down, unable to allow us to burn the candle at both ends any longer as the saying goes.
Then, our human reaction is to rebel. We try harder to control. We try to figure out a future that sounds good to us. We try to move people out of the way of what we see as desirous. And we have more depression and pain, and failure. Some people get angry at God for this failure. We tried to do life on our own, and how dare He not intervene? Or how dare He intervene? How dare He allow these uncontrollable things to enter our lives! He must not care about us!
And if the light of His love begins to flicker within us, yet we cannot see how things will work out as we planned, perhaps it is because we are not worthy of His love. Why would He be interested in a person who has tried to do life their own way and messed it up? And so, we dig our pit of depression even deeper.
The truth is God IS love. He loves us unconditionally. No exceptions! He does not analyze our mistakes and withold some of His love from those of us who messed up royally and repeatedly. He hurts when we hurt. It saddens Him when we choose to make decisions that hurt us. But He is always there, waiting for us to look up. It is hard to look up when we are downcast or down-trodden. It is hard to look up when we are ashamed.
I pray this year, that I can get a better understanding of His love. But also, that with this understanding, I can move in that love and wisdom, to share it with others and help someone look up to those reaching arms of love waiting to embrace them. I wish for this new year, that I can realize who I am in Christ and help others find His love. My relative is hurting. I hurt for her. But I pray that she will look up, not to her own abilities (which are many) but to an all-forgiving, all-loving, all-knowing Savior and find His peace and love which is far greater than any we can know from our human perspective alone.
Lord, let 2010 be the year that I am free from fear, intimidation, anger, and hurt to the level that I can share Your love and joy to others who are hurting. Thank you for all that you have given me. Thank you for Your unconditional love and mercy. And thank You that You love me just the way I am and even rejoice over me with pleasure. And You do that for each of us. What a loving God!
We have lost the idea of a personal and caring God. Americans are supposed to be self-sufficient, self=motivating, and independent. But has this caused us to feel that we do not need God? And from there, our meager attempts to control and rule our lives produce depression and anxiety when we cannot rise above circumstances brought on by outside forces such as other people and systems. We feel like failures when our own bodies let us down, unable to allow us to burn the candle at both ends any longer as the saying goes.
Then, our human reaction is to rebel. We try harder to control. We try to figure out a future that sounds good to us. We try to move people out of the way of what we see as desirous. And we have more depression and pain, and failure. Some people get angry at God for this failure. We tried to do life on our own, and how dare He not intervene? Or how dare He intervene? How dare He allow these uncontrollable things to enter our lives! He must not care about us!
And if the light of His love begins to flicker within us, yet we cannot see how things will work out as we planned, perhaps it is because we are not worthy of His love. Why would He be interested in a person who has tried to do life their own way and messed it up? And so, we dig our pit of depression even deeper.
The truth is God IS love. He loves us unconditionally. No exceptions! He does not analyze our mistakes and withold some of His love from those of us who messed up royally and repeatedly. He hurts when we hurt. It saddens Him when we choose to make decisions that hurt us. But He is always there, waiting for us to look up. It is hard to look up when we are downcast or down-trodden. It is hard to look up when we are ashamed.
I pray this year, that I can get a better understanding of His love. But also, that with this understanding, I can move in that love and wisdom, to share it with others and help someone look up to those reaching arms of love waiting to embrace them. I wish for this new year, that I can realize who I am in Christ and help others find His love. My relative is hurting. I hurt for her. But I pray that she will look up, not to her own abilities (which are many) but to an all-forgiving, all-loving, all-knowing Savior and find His peace and love which is far greater than any we can know from our human perspective alone.
Lord, let 2010 be the year that I am free from fear, intimidation, anger, and hurt to the level that I can share Your love and joy to others who are hurting. Thank you for all that you have given me. Thank you for Your unconditional love and mercy. And thank You that You love me just the way I am and even rejoice over me with pleasure. And You do that for each of us. What a loving God!
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This will be a better year. Last year was the year of good intentions. My desire is that THIS year will be the year of good ACTIONS! I have laid aside the idea that making resolutions will assist in bringing this about. All that ends up happening is that the resolutions haunt me and add to my guilty feelings. However, without goals, nothing will be accomplished.
Therefore, I am making some goals today. One of those is that I will write daily. I have three blogs. I will write something on one of those daily. Therefore, at least two times per week there should be some news on each of them. Knowing myself as I do, however, I realize that this is probably too lofty a goal. I am leaving it as my goal and promising myself and my friends that I will do my best to accomplish this goal. I should have at LEAST ONE item on each blog weekly. If I achieve this, I will consider myself successful.
I am writing at least weekly for our church as well. I write the curriculum for our kids church, along with puppet skits, etc. so that really is partly why I have been so lax in attending these blogs. And I also write quite a bit for my homeschooler. Teaching him some of the weirdness of the English language often works better by writing my own stories that fit the subjects. He is much more interested in reading about topics that peek his interest, and finding those at the library takes a lot of time. Not only that, but finding interesting topics that also fit the English rules of the week, can be a daunting task! This probably sounds like another excuse, and perhaps it is...
The point is, I shall truly attempt to do better at keeping up with the blogs. The request I have from you, my friends, is to encourage me, by making comments from time to time, or at least letting me know that you are reading them. Sometimes, I am tempted to make the blogs more like a journal or diary, which, I guess, is okay. However, daily, thoughts go through my mind that may well be of interest to my readers. So, if I know I have readers, I will be more motivated to get my thoughts onto the blogs. THANK YOU!
I love to write. I love to share. I love my friends. Happy New Year!
ps- this is the only time that all my blogs will say the same thing! THAT I promise!
Therefore, I am making some goals today. One of those is that I will write daily. I have three blogs. I will write something on one of those daily. Therefore, at least two times per week there should be some news on each of them. Knowing myself as I do, however, I realize that this is probably too lofty a goal. I am leaving it as my goal and promising myself and my friends that I will do my best to accomplish this goal. I should have at LEAST ONE item on each blog weekly. If I achieve this, I will consider myself successful.
I am writing at least weekly for our church as well. I write the curriculum for our kids church, along with puppet skits, etc. so that really is partly why I have been so lax in attending these blogs. And I also write quite a bit for my homeschooler. Teaching him some of the weirdness of the English language often works better by writing my own stories that fit the subjects. He is much more interested in reading about topics that peek his interest, and finding those at the library takes a lot of time. Not only that, but finding interesting topics that also fit the English rules of the week, can be a daunting task! This probably sounds like another excuse, and perhaps it is...
The point is, I shall truly attempt to do better at keeping up with the blogs. The request I have from you, my friends, is to encourage me, by making comments from time to time, or at least letting me know that you are reading them. Sometimes, I am tempted to make the blogs more like a journal or diary, which, I guess, is okay. However, daily, thoughts go through my mind that may well be of interest to my readers. So, if I know I have readers, I will be more motivated to get my thoughts onto the blogs. THANK YOU!
I love to write. I love to share. I love my friends. Happy New Year!
ps- this is the only time that all my blogs will say the same thing! THAT I promise!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Women's Wiles or Leadership responsibility?
I see that time has gotten away once again. I could make a lot of excuses as to why I have neglected this blog. But they would all boil down to just that...neglect. Not paying attention to things that are important. Choosing my own priorities over those of others. All with good intentions, mind you!
This delemna reminds me of a passage that I recently read with my grandson. We are going through the study of the children of Israel and the life of Moses. Two very important people in Moses's life were his siblings, Aaron and Miriam. We read the story of how they both decided to grumble against Moses because he had married a woman that did not meet with their approval. Her ancestry and upbringing did not fit with their idea of the wife of a leader of Israel. Miriam was struck with leporsy for her transgression. Yet, nothing is mentioned of Aaron having the same situation. This had puzzled me in the past, having read that passage as more of an isolated story. But in the context of the whole journey, and the life of Moses, it makes mch more sense to me.
You see, Aaron and Miriam had differing personalities. Miriam was bold, out-spoken and a natural leader. She was quick to express herself with dancing and singing when her heart felt gratitude for God. She was quick to offer a solution when Moses, as an infant, was pulled from the water to be raised in the palace.
Aaron, on the other hand, became Moses's spokesman only after Moses demanded it of God. He was much more of a follower than a leader, in my opinion. He was not a leader independently of Moses. When Moses was gone up to the Mount to meet with God, Aaron gave in to the wishes of the people and created the golden calf for them to worship. It seems he couldn't keep his focus on the Lord without Moses being there, even though he had himself seen God's victory over the Pharoah!
Could it be that the verse which cautions those who consider themselves teachers (leaders) could fit this scenario too? The Word warns that if we are teachers, then more is expected of us. Aaron seemed unable to stand up for the right thing unless Moses was present. He apparently accepted his leadership postion reluctantly. Miriam, on the other hand, did consider herself a leader and spoke up often. Perhpas this leadership quality is why she was judged more harshly than Aaron in their joint sin against Moses.
Aaron was a people-please champion! But this also meant his heart was soft towards others! He begged God to heal Miriam and take away the awfulness she was facing. God knew his heart was full of love for his sister, but he had succumbed, once again, to the desires of others.
Miriam received mercy from God. She was banned from the community as any leper was, but only for seven days. Her healing was complete. It does not appear that she suffered any lingering effects of the illness.
I thought about this story and realized that leadership is an awesome responsibility. Sometimes it gets thrust upon us like Aaron. Soemtimes it is a part of our nature like Miriam. Either way, we should consider that our priorities can no longer be the number one consideration of our lives. We must have God's priorities. We must say what He wants us too and not value our own opinions over His instructions.
So what do I need to consider in this story? To pray for the leadership that God has put over me. To not judge the actions or decisions of others, especially those in position over me spiritually. To speak when and what He says and not my own opinions. To not crave the attention of others, even those whom I might naturally lead. To keep my opinions from coming out of my mouth, except when speaking directly to God alone. And to not find God's decisions "unfair". He deals with each of us as He knows is best for our growth.
Miriam was a good leader in worship. But she apparently felt the need to seek attention by gossip. Oh Lord...keep your arm around my shoulder...and Your hand over my mouth! I submit my words to You to use! Amen!
This delemna reminds me of a passage that I recently read with my grandson. We are going through the study of the children of Israel and the life of Moses. Two very important people in Moses's life were his siblings, Aaron and Miriam. We read the story of how they both decided to grumble against Moses because he had married a woman that did not meet with their approval. Her ancestry and upbringing did not fit with their idea of the wife of a leader of Israel. Miriam was struck with leporsy for her transgression. Yet, nothing is mentioned of Aaron having the same situation. This had puzzled me in the past, having read that passage as more of an isolated story. But in the context of the whole journey, and the life of Moses, it makes mch more sense to me.
You see, Aaron and Miriam had differing personalities. Miriam was bold, out-spoken and a natural leader. She was quick to express herself with dancing and singing when her heart felt gratitude for God. She was quick to offer a solution when Moses, as an infant, was pulled from the water to be raised in the palace.
Aaron, on the other hand, became Moses's spokesman only after Moses demanded it of God. He was much more of a follower than a leader, in my opinion. He was not a leader independently of Moses. When Moses was gone up to the Mount to meet with God, Aaron gave in to the wishes of the people and created the golden calf for them to worship. It seems he couldn't keep his focus on the Lord without Moses being there, even though he had himself seen God's victory over the Pharoah!
Could it be that the verse which cautions those who consider themselves teachers (leaders) could fit this scenario too? The Word warns that if we are teachers, then more is expected of us. Aaron seemed unable to stand up for the right thing unless Moses was present. He apparently accepted his leadership postion reluctantly. Miriam, on the other hand, did consider herself a leader and spoke up often. Perhpas this leadership quality is why she was judged more harshly than Aaron in their joint sin against Moses.
Aaron was a people-please champion! But this also meant his heart was soft towards others! He begged God to heal Miriam and take away the awfulness she was facing. God knew his heart was full of love for his sister, but he had succumbed, once again, to the desires of others.
Miriam received mercy from God. She was banned from the community as any leper was, but only for seven days. Her healing was complete. It does not appear that she suffered any lingering effects of the illness.
I thought about this story and realized that leadership is an awesome responsibility. Sometimes it gets thrust upon us like Aaron. Soemtimes it is a part of our nature like Miriam. Either way, we should consider that our priorities can no longer be the number one consideration of our lives. We must have God's priorities. We must say what He wants us too and not value our own opinions over His instructions.
So what do I need to consider in this story? To pray for the leadership that God has put over me. To not judge the actions or decisions of others, especially those in position over me spiritually. To speak when and what He says and not my own opinions. To not crave the attention of others, even those whom I might naturally lead. To keep my opinions from coming out of my mouth, except when speaking directly to God alone. And to not find God's decisions "unfair". He deals with each of us as He knows is best for our growth.
Miriam was a good leader in worship. But she apparently felt the need to seek attention by gossip. Oh Lord...keep your arm around my shoulder...and Your hand over my mouth! I submit my words to You to use! Amen!
Friday, October 9, 2009
THE MARBLE CRACKED
I remember my childhood days. The simple games we played; the imaginary worlds we created. Sometimes I wish I could return to those worlds where Prince Charming rode in on his white stallion or the tall, dark, and handsome stranger took hold of my hand and whisked me away. But, I have put away childish things and faced the realities of life. Still, one childhood game lingers in my mind. I think it haunts reality at times. This game is marbles.
I used to play by the hour with my marbles, rolling the large one into the helpless plain ones and watching them all spin out of control. It seemed funny then. Now that I am grown, I relate all too well that large boulder marble. I’ve discovered being tossed into a heap of offenses, resulting in my world spinning out of control is not funny at all.
One day my grandmother took my favorite boulder because it had a nick in it. She baked it in her over, shattering the inside, Such a beautiful necklace it made! I could no longer use it for a boulder, but now it served a much better purpose.
The heat of life’s difficulties and discouragements has made me shattered inside as well. My heart has been deeply wounded by the fires of betrayal and I have been crushed on the inside. But just as that marble didn’t disintegrate but only shattered inwardly, I too, held strong because my true fomr is in God’s hands. My heart belongs to Him first and not to fickle man. He can take my shattered heart, held firmly and securely in His hand, and make me an adornment for His wearing. He can make a jewel out of a confused and broken marble.
That boulder went from being kept in a crowded bag of marbles to being displayed in a lovely jewelry box. Isn’t that just like Jesus? He talks us from the stuffy, dark, crowded, sinful “pouches” to His jewelry display! In other words, He takes us from the common to the extraordinary! I am very glad He owns my heart!
I remember my childhood days. The simple games we played; the imaginary worlds we created. Sometimes I wish I could return to those worlds where Prince Charming rode in on his white stallion or the tall, dark, and handsome stranger took hold of my hand and whisked me away. But, I have put away childish things and faced the realities of life. Still, one childhood game lingers in my mind. I think it haunts reality at times. This game is marbles.
I used to play by the hour with my marbles, rolling the large one into the helpless plain ones and watching them all spin out of control. It seemed funny then. Now that I am grown, I relate all too well that large boulder marble. I’ve discovered being tossed into a heap of offenses, resulting in my world spinning out of control is not funny at all.
One day my grandmother took my favorite boulder because it had a nick in it. She baked it in her over, shattering the inside, Such a beautiful necklace it made! I could no longer use it for a boulder, but now it served a much better purpose.
The heat of life’s difficulties and discouragements has made me shattered inside as well. My heart has been deeply wounded by the fires of betrayal and I have been crushed on the inside. But just as that marble didn’t disintegrate but only shattered inwardly, I too, held strong because my true fomr is in God’s hands. My heart belongs to Him first and not to fickle man. He can take my shattered heart, held firmly and securely in His hand, and make me an adornment for His wearing. He can make a jewel out of a confused and broken marble.
That boulder went from being kept in a crowded bag of marbles to being displayed in a lovely jewelry box. Isn’t that just like Jesus? He talks us from the stuffy, dark, crowded, sinful “pouches” to His jewelry display! In other words, He takes us from the common to the extraordinary! I am very glad He owns my heart!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
No Sales Rack!
NO SALES RACK!
I love to shop! What woman doesn’t, at least a little bit, enjoy a trip to the mall? I even love it at Christmas, in the hustle and bustle of the season. I especially enjoy a good sale. “Never pay full price” has been my shopping motto since I had money to spend. After all, you can get more items if you find good sales. I have even gotten good at spotting bargains at yard sales. Items of discard can be of great value. Everywhere I go to shop, I find a “sales” rack.
One morning my agenda included a trip to the mall. Anticipating great deal, my mind was calculating when the Holy Spirit interrupted.
“What about your prayer time with Me?”
“Oh yes” I answered quickly, “I’ll stop by the church and spend time with You first.”
Little did I know that my compulsion for sales would be the very toold that God would use to deepen my commitment to Him. I was worshipping Him, caught up in the glory of His presence. He whispered a question, “Daughter, will you pay the price to serve Me and answer the call on your life?”
I knew what He meant. He wanted me to write, to teach, to serve in a churchfilled with PEOPLE! How to not fall into people-pleasing and yet meet their needs was indeed a challenge! Yet, I love challenges…
“Yes, Lord” I replied. “I will pay the price!”
“You don’t understand”, He said. “There are no sales racks in My kingdom. I’m talking FULL PRICE!”
Total silence hit my spirit as I pondered what He meant. I knew it meant trusting Him in and through and for everything. It could mean not questioning His decision to take one of my loved ones home. It could mean facing tremendous persecution. It certainly meant dying to my own ambitions and myself. If I said yes, I knew I had given Him all authority to grow in me and do with me whatever He desired. THAT was a very sobering thought!
I walked around the sanctuary several times weeping. I guess we all want some control over our lives. He was asking me to give up mine. But since I love Him, what choice should I have? I want all He has for me. And how could He expect less? He gave everything for me.
“Yes, Lord,” I answered. “I understand. And I will pay the price; the full price, whatever that may mean. I love You. I trust You.”
Serving Jesus is costly. He has taken me through many fiery trials since that day. I am sure there are more to come. But He has proven faithful. He has walked beside me in the furnaces of life. He is worthy of paying the FULL price for!
I love to shop! What woman doesn’t, at least a little bit, enjoy a trip to the mall? I even love it at Christmas, in the hustle and bustle of the season. I especially enjoy a good sale. “Never pay full price” has been my shopping motto since I had money to spend. After all, you can get more items if you find good sales. I have even gotten good at spotting bargains at yard sales. Items of discard can be of great value. Everywhere I go to shop, I find a “sales” rack.
One morning my agenda included a trip to the mall. Anticipating great deal, my mind was calculating when the Holy Spirit interrupted.
“What about your prayer time with Me?”
“Oh yes” I answered quickly, “I’ll stop by the church and spend time with You first.”
Little did I know that my compulsion for sales would be the very toold that God would use to deepen my commitment to Him. I was worshipping Him, caught up in the glory of His presence. He whispered a question, “Daughter, will you pay the price to serve Me and answer the call on your life?”
I knew what He meant. He wanted me to write, to teach, to serve in a churchfilled with PEOPLE! How to not fall into people-pleasing and yet meet their needs was indeed a challenge! Yet, I love challenges…
“Yes, Lord” I replied. “I will pay the price!”
“You don’t understand”, He said. “There are no sales racks in My kingdom. I’m talking FULL PRICE!”
Total silence hit my spirit as I pondered what He meant. I knew it meant trusting Him in and through and for everything. It could mean not questioning His decision to take one of my loved ones home. It could mean facing tremendous persecution. It certainly meant dying to my own ambitions and myself. If I said yes, I knew I had given Him all authority to grow in me and do with me whatever He desired. THAT was a very sobering thought!
I walked around the sanctuary several times weeping. I guess we all want some control over our lives. He was asking me to give up mine. But since I love Him, what choice should I have? I want all He has for me. And how could He expect less? He gave everything for me.
“Yes, Lord,” I answered. “I understand. And I will pay the price; the full price, whatever that may mean. I love You. I trust You.”
Serving Jesus is costly. He has taken me through many fiery trials since that day. I am sure there are more to come. But He has proven faithful. He has walked beside me in the furnaces of life. He is worthy of paying the FULL price for!
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