The Recluse

Tom is gone. Just like that. One day he was here, helping people and loving his wife, and a few short days later, he was gone from this earth! His saga is sad, leaving behind many many friends and family members who loved him so. The suddeness of it all prompted me to write...

He was done in by a recluse...a tiny, brown recluse spider bit him on the leg. He didn't notice much until the pain began. He thought it was his bursitis. Then he began flu-like symptoms. He thought he had the flu which was antagonizing his bursitis. He even went a doctor. I am not sure, at this point, whether they examined his leg or, like him, just assumed it was bursitis. At any rate, he recieved pain meds and was sent home. The meds kept him sleeping most of the day. But the spider had not been sleeping! Those nasty little varmits don't take long to do a six-foot-plus man in! He went to the hospital and was admitted. He made a valiant attempt to survivie. Almost made it a week...most of that in a coma...and then he passed on.

Tom was a gentle, kind man ready to give assistance to anyone in need. But, he did not notice his own need until it was too late!

I thought of spiritual correlations to his plight. How many times have we been "bitten" by evil one way or another and not really noticed? Perhpas given in to temptation. Perhaps resisted showing kindness or gentleness or patience...any of the Fruit of the Spirit. Perhaps been attacked by others and left to sort out our own pain, medicating it with whatever made us comfortable. Or, perhaps, we became a recluse ourselves. Hiding and withdrawing from those who love and could help us. The tiniest of spiders can be the deadliest! The tiniest of sin can lead us into destruction!

Maybe we, like Tom, thought we could self-diagnose; self-heal...just take the meds and sleep it off. Spider bites don't work that way. Neither does sin. Maybe we ignore symptoms thinking we are tough enough to endure. Meanwhile, the symptoms grow and the destruction ravages our spirits, much like the spider poison ravaged Tom's body. By the time we finally submit to "hospitalization", the poison has spread throughout the body of Christ. If we have chosen to complain, to grumble, to insist we are "okay" and want to be left alone; if we choose to "sleep" instead of "pray thorugh"; if we think ourselves spiritually mature and "tough", we could find ourselves in seriously critical condition. (the last report we got on Tom before his death).

How many ministries have died? How many lost opportunities? How much pain have we suffered in silence and alone? The antidote for spider bites is not pleasant. And snake bites are worse treatment yet. But, in order to stay alive, one must submit to treatment. Tom did. He would have gone earlier if he had realized the danger. He wanted to live. He was not arrogant. But he was ignorant...of the spider's power, and perhaps, even of it having bitten him.

I wonder how many times I have been ignorant of the bites of sin in my life. I wonder how many times I thought my pain to be related to something else...something less potentially devastating...something less painful to treat.

I have a tendancy to retreat at times, and not expose my hurt. I wear my "big girl" pants and try to cover the injury instead of exposing myself to a full examiniation of the Spirit. He know anyway. He weeps for my lack of trust in Him. He weeps that I would choose to fight for my spiritual survival rather than allow HIim to administer the treatment. My concern is sometimes, "What will my friends think? They assume I can handle this or that, etc." But when my concern over others supercedes my willingness to be exposed by the Holy Spirit, I have endangered my well-being.

Let us not become little brown recluse spiders, hiding in the desert, lashing out in panic when disturbed. Let us not become spiritually dead trying to ignore the symptoms or self-diagnosing them rather than opening up to His Word which is sharper than any two-sided sword! Let us live in openess. Let us examine ourselves as the Bible says...let us confess our faults to one another...let us expose the poison of sin in our lives so that we may be healed!

God bless you, Tom...you are in a better place...and the spider is dead!