Storm damage is sometimes hidden. This is true in both the emotional and physical storms. I ran across an example of this a few years back when I was looking for a home to buy.
It seemed like the perfect location. It was almost exactly between two of my grown children and their families. It was a lot closer to my workplace. It was the perfect size. And the price4 was right. My daughter, who, along with her husband, was an investor, first discovered this house. She "checked it out" in the early evening when the sun's light was barely adequate. It looked good, except for the need for cosmetic updates. She excitedly called me to set up an appointment to look at it the next day. I could hardly sleep! The search had been long and covered with a lot of prayer. Maybe this was finally my answer!
I met her at the house on my lunch break. The neighborhood was older, but well-kept. The house was on a cul-de-sac with a lovely name. And it was near a community pool! I was sure this was my answered prayer!
I walked in to see her saddened face staring at the floor. the carpet had been pulled up to disclose a two-and-a-half inch gaping crack all across the dining room and living room. The house smelled musty. There was evidence, now in the4 full light of day, of flood damage. Mold. Peeling linoleum tiles. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that the fireplace bricks were coming off the wall and the window joints were askew. The ceiling bore cracks as well. It appeared that the house had slid on its foundation. Much speculation occurred without the detailed facts. Had the house been built upon a faulty foundaton? Had the lot been a land-fill not properly assessed? Was there some kind of underground water source that had erupted beneath the foundation? Had a tremor from a distant earthquake caused the situation? We didn't press to find the answers since we clearly were not going to purchase this once great, and now damaged, home. We were not sure it was repairable.
I know there were times in my life when I could realte to that house. My past seemed better than my present, and even my future! There was obviously damage caused bu something not readily identifiable. And I wasn't sure I was repairable!
I have spent much time of my life analyzing myself. I have tried to discover what shook me so badly. What erupted in my life beyojnd my control, which brought about cracks in me? Storms that I did not invite, and in fact at times, had not noticed until evidence of damage emerged. I wondered if I, too, had slid so far from the Foundation that I could not be fixed.
Thanks be to God! He is my Foundation! He is my solid rock! He is unmovable and secure. He4 is my Investor and Creator. He can not onlhy repair any brokeness, He can set me straight again and cause the value to be seen. He is the Healer of the broken. He is the repairer of the betrayed. He had invested His spirit inot my life! What a valuable creation I am!
I do not know what became of that house. I do know what I am becoming. Hie is making me into His likeness. He is rebuilding and restoring a home for His presence; a home of peace, joy, and value. He longs to do the same for you. We are His property. There is never a valuation decline in His possessions! Amen!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
God IS Love
I just returned from a women's conference with my church. It was called "He knows your name". It was powerful.
I have had many experiences of inner healing with God, yet I still struggle at times with feelings of rejection, insecurity,inadequacy, etc. I have, a few times, asked myself why, but was unable to reach an answer. It is because I have very little grasp or understanding of the love of God. Oh, yes, I have felt His loving arms around me. I have wept with a touch of His love. But, though those times were very real and meaningful, I allowed the old patterns of what I thought love was to cloud my picture of my Father, and make room for all those other feelings to rise.
My earthly father was a good man. He was a Christian. He even went to Bible college, although he did not become a pastor. He taught Sunday School and lived a morally good life. But, he was not perfect. He left me with several misconcepts about love. My father never rejected me openly, yet there seemed to be just a tad of aloofness about him. He played tether ball with me and taught me to swim and ride bikes and horses. He let me drive tractors and trowel cement. He wanted a boy. I was born when he was forty and already the father of two daughters. He had not especially wanted another child. So, he reasoned, surely God would grant him a son, since that was his heart's desire and he had this unexpected child later in life. It took me years before I accepted that my Heavenly Father wanted a daughter, so my earthly dad was chosen for me.
My dad was a worrier. He would stay up late at night pacing the floor, worrying about business projects and storm damage, etc. He was extremely responsible. I am sure he meant to pass that on to me. He did. Yet, he also passed on to me the idea that everything that happened to me was somehow my fault. Somehow I was responsible for everything, just like he was. Oh, he didn't cause the storms, but still, the damages or consequences were his responsibility, and somehow his fault for not thinking ahead. And the storms of my life received the same verdict. He was not a very merciful person. You had to pay for your own mistakes and lack of fore-thought. And, you could always do better next time.
And, though he meant to encourage his kids, he found it difficult. He steered us away from dreaming about careers dominated by men, or careers involving talent. God coud snatch those talents right away from us if we strayed from Him, and then, where would we be? (I wanted to be a writer and ...well, read on!) And if God had wanted us to be principals (my middle sister's dream) or therapists (my oldest sister's thought), or preachers/evangelists (my desire), He would have made us boys! He had trouble acknowledging awards we received and cautioned us not to become proud.
But, he did spend time with me. He read to me when I was little. He played with table games and tetheball with me. He hugged me once in a while.
My mom died when I was four. My sisters were 14 and 18. I got to live with my grandparents for three years. They loved me, but were steeped in a legalistic church...no dancing, no worldly music, no football games, no bowling, very little TV (that was taboo, too, but Grandpa wouldn't comply!) Of course, anyone who smoked or drank alcohol of any kind or cursed in anyway, was not a Christian, and I should not be around them.
And then came a new mom. A very wounded mom. They didn't know about "baggage" or "bondage" back then, and counseling was for those who had no God in their lives. I learned then, that father-love would not take my side, even if there was proof of my innocence. I was not to be defended, even if I was wronged. I probably deserved it one way or another. I figured he must be right.
My dad did not beat me himself. But he did not prevent it either. He did not molest me. But he did not believe me when an employee of his attempted it...along with the youth pastor, a year later (I never told my parents that one...they would NEVER believe it!) And my mom would only say I must have worn my skirt too short, or make me stop wearing shorts.
So, you can imagine my image of Father God. Loving, but aloof, willing to play with me as long as it was things He liked. He expected me to perform to the best of my ability (which he determined), and when I didn't, would just go do something better than talking to me. He wouldn't believe me over the word of men. I must follow the rules, have only godly thoughts, and be responsible for myself and everything and everyone in my path. Say my prayers, pay my tithe, say grace at the table, read my Bible and memorize Scriptures. Then I would be that good little girl He wanted.(or not).
Years ago God started to work on me. He loving offered healing and I accepted it...as far as I could. It was like I had cancer and required surgery, chemotherapy, and lots of medicine...and more surgery..etc.
But, God IS love. He is getting through to me more and more each day. I forgive my dad. He did the best he could. I forgive my mom. She was extremely wounded from her own childhood and basically hated herself.
And now, I am forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for hanging on to some of these issues far too long; for not spending more time with my Father. For not believing what HE said about me over what I had been told by others.
I realize that it was I who has held myself back. It is I who had become afraid of success as much as of failure. Oh, I did go to Bible college. I did have successful ministry. But I have allowed men's opinions, and people's critiques to draw me into the background and hide my calling and talents from all but a few select people. God has forgiven me and refreshed my call. I have forgiven me now too. I hope you all forgive yourselves, because He has already forgiven you.
I have had many experiences of inner healing with God, yet I still struggle at times with feelings of rejection, insecurity,inadequacy, etc. I have, a few times, asked myself why, but was unable to reach an answer. It is because I have very little grasp or understanding of the love of God. Oh, yes, I have felt His loving arms around me. I have wept with a touch of His love. But, though those times were very real and meaningful, I allowed the old patterns of what I thought love was to cloud my picture of my Father, and make room for all those other feelings to rise.
My earthly father was a good man. He was a Christian. He even went to Bible college, although he did not become a pastor. He taught Sunday School and lived a morally good life. But, he was not perfect. He left me with several misconcepts about love. My father never rejected me openly, yet there seemed to be just a tad of aloofness about him. He played tether ball with me and taught me to swim and ride bikes and horses. He let me drive tractors and trowel cement. He wanted a boy. I was born when he was forty and already the father of two daughters. He had not especially wanted another child. So, he reasoned, surely God would grant him a son, since that was his heart's desire and he had this unexpected child later in life. It took me years before I accepted that my Heavenly Father wanted a daughter, so my earthly dad was chosen for me.
My dad was a worrier. He would stay up late at night pacing the floor, worrying about business projects and storm damage, etc. He was extremely responsible. I am sure he meant to pass that on to me. He did. Yet, he also passed on to me the idea that everything that happened to me was somehow my fault. Somehow I was responsible for everything, just like he was. Oh, he didn't cause the storms, but still, the damages or consequences were his responsibility, and somehow his fault for not thinking ahead. And the storms of my life received the same verdict. He was not a very merciful person. You had to pay for your own mistakes and lack of fore-thought. And, you could always do better next time.
And, though he meant to encourage his kids, he found it difficult. He steered us away from dreaming about careers dominated by men, or careers involving talent. God coud snatch those talents right away from us if we strayed from Him, and then, where would we be? (I wanted to be a writer and ...well, read on!) And if God had wanted us to be principals (my middle sister's dream) or therapists (my oldest sister's thought), or preachers/evangelists (my desire), He would have made us boys! He had trouble acknowledging awards we received and cautioned us not to become proud.
But, he did spend time with me. He read to me when I was little. He played with table games and tetheball with me. He hugged me once in a while.
My mom died when I was four. My sisters were 14 and 18. I got to live with my grandparents for three years. They loved me, but were steeped in a legalistic church...no dancing, no worldly music, no football games, no bowling, very little TV (that was taboo, too, but Grandpa wouldn't comply!) Of course, anyone who smoked or drank alcohol of any kind or cursed in anyway, was not a Christian, and I should not be around them.
And then came a new mom. A very wounded mom. They didn't know about "baggage" or "bondage" back then, and counseling was for those who had no God in their lives. I learned then, that father-love would not take my side, even if there was proof of my innocence. I was not to be defended, even if I was wronged. I probably deserved it one way or another. I figured he must be right.
My dad did not beat me himself. But he did not prevent it either. He did not molest me. But he did not believe me when an employee of his attempted it...along with the youth pastor, a year later (I never told my parents that one...they would NEVER believe it!) And my mom would only say I must have worn my skirt too short, or make me stop wearing shorts.
So, you can imagine my image of Father God. Loving, but aloof, willing to play with me as long as it was things He liked. He expected me to perform to the best of my ability (which he determined), and when I didn't, would just go do something better than talking to me. He wouldn't believe me over the word of men. I must follow the rules, have only godly thoughts, and be responsible for myself and everything and everyone in my path. Say my prayers, pay my tithe, say grace at the table, read my Bible and memorize Scriptures. Then I would be that good little girl He wanted.(or not).
Years ago God started to work on me. He loving offered healing and I accepted it...as far as I could. It was like I had cancer and required surgery, chemotherapy, and lots of medicine...and more surgery..etc.
But, God IS love. He is getting through to me more and more each day. I forgive my dad. He did the best he could. I forgive my mom. She was extremely wounded from her own childhood and basically hated herself.
And now, I am forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for hanging on to some of these issues far too long; for not spending more time with my Father. For not believing what HE said about me over what I had been told by others.
I realize that it was I who has held myself back. It is I who had become afraid of success as much as of failure. Oh, I did go to Bible college. I did have successful ministry. But I have allowed men's opinions, and people's critiques to draw me into the background and hide my calling and talents from all but a few select people. God has forgiven me and refreshed my call. I have forgiven me now too. I hope you all forgive yourselves, because He has already forgiven you.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
A Poem--"Your Love"
YOUR LOVE
Lord, Your love is so great!
I goes beyond my biggest mistakes.
It gets me past my past.
It’s the only love that will ever last.
Your love covers a multitude of sin;
And sets me free from the child within;
It lets me be who I am meant to be.
And Lord, You’re always there for me!
I need no other love to get me through today.
No other love can know my ways
Like You do…
Lord, You know everything about me.
You hear my thoughts and understand
what I can’t see.
Through it all You love me still!
May I always seek to do Your will.
Help me remember when life gets tough,
That I am Your diamond in the rough.
Your love will smooth and give value to me.
Let me not lose sight of what I can be.
I know Your love is my all in all.
Lord, I hear now Your love call.
And Jesus, I love You!
By Charlotte Saben
Lord, Your love is so great!
I goes beyond my biggest mistakes.
It gets me past my past.
It’s the only love that will ever last.
Your love covers a multitude of sin;
And sets me free from the child within;
It lets me be who I am meant to be.
And Lord, You’re always there for me!
I need no other love to get me through today.
No other love can know my ways
Like You do…
Lord, You know everything about me.
You hear my thoughts and understand
what I can’t see.
Through it all You love me still!
May I always seek to do Your will.
Help me remember when life gets tough,
That I am Your diamond in the rough.
Your love will smooth and give value to me.
Let me not lose sight of what I can be.
I know Your love is my all in all.
Lord, I hear now Your love call.
And Jesus, I love You!
By Charlotte Saben
Self-storage
UNCLE BOB’S SELF STORAGE
The sign read “Uncle Bob’s Self Storage.” It caught my eye because of its unique design, but the words grabbed at my conscience. Self storage. How I wish I could store myself away sometimes and not have to deal with my blemishes. If I could put myself on a shelf and lock me up for a season, perhaps my pride and self-absorption would take care of itself!
But life is not that simple. Selfishness is not that easy to cure. Dealing with our idiosyncrasies and imperfections is not pain-free! I chuckled, wondering if “Uncle Bob” realized the duel meaning of his sign, or how God could use it to get my attention.
I would like to think that I am not that selfish nor prideful nor self-absorbed. Yet, I know the day I just spent thinking of my needs but not wanting to deal with my mistakes. THAT is what I would like to put in storage! All the past mistakes I made. Lock them away and throw away the key! Lock up the memories of all the self-centered days I have had. What a perfect solution that would be.
And yet, God has done just that. No, He has done greater than that. He has canceled my sins. He has sent them as far as the east is from the west…that is how far He has removed them. (there is no geographical point separating east from west, so they are continuously going AWAY from me!) Still, the memories of my misdeeds and mistakes are locked up…in my mind! I have stored them away, attempting to keep them bound up forever. I have achieved a measure of success with my “self-storage”. But God wants me to unlock that storage unit in my head and allow His Spirit to assure me that those errors are forever gone and erased. The consequences that I have suffered can, and are being healed by my loving God. I need not hang unto them.
One consequence of my locking away my “issues” is that I have put myself on a shelf…a back shelf at that! I have allowed the memories of the past to hold me back and keep me from moving ahead in areas God wants me to move!
I still wish at times that I could lock ME up…put me away so I don’t make any more mistakes. But God does not desire me or anyone to lock thmselves away. We are to die daily to ourselves and step out in faith to do whatever He calls us to do. God is gracious. He is forgiving. He is love! “His grace is sufficient for me”. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”
These are the words I shall meditate upon; not the words in my head that were spoken from my past. I shall feast on His Word. I cannot put myself away. I cannot lock me up to assure I will sin less. That is not God’s way. I cannot store away bad memories and not forgive myself and those who hurt me in the past. That is not God’s way.
His way is love; forgiveness, openness, and honesty. He is my Healer. He is my Restorer. Rather than “store” myself away, I shall live in “restoration” by His Spirit.
Well, Uncle Bob, whoever you are…God has used your simple sign. We never know what He can and will use to set another free!
The sign read “Uncle Bob’s Self Storage.” It caught my eye because of its unique design, but the words grabbed at my conscience. Self storage. How I wish I could store myself away sometimes and not have to deal with my blemishes. If I could put myself on a shelf and lock me up for a season, perhaps my pride and self-absorption would take care of itself!
But life is not that simple. Selfishness is not that easy to cure. Dealing with our idiosyncrasies and imperfections is not pain-free! I chuckled, wondering if “Uncle Bob” realized the duel meaning of his sign, or how God could use it to get my attention.
I would like to think that I am not that selfish nor prideful nor self-absorbed. Yet, I know the day I just spent thinking of my needs but not wanting to deal with my mistakes. THAT is what I would like to put in storage! All the past mistakes I made. Lock them away and throw away the key! Lock up the memories of all the self-centered days I have had. What a perfect solution that would be.
And yet, God has done just that. No, He has done greater than that. He has canceled my sins. He has sent them as far as the east is from the west…that is how far He has removed them. (there is no geographical point separating east from west, so they are continuously going AWAY from me!) Still, the memories of my misdeeds and mistakes are locked up…in my mind! I have stored them away, attempting to keep them bound up forever. I have achieved a measure of success with my “self-storage”. But God wants me to unlock that storage unit in my head and allow His Spirit to assure me that those errors are forever gone and erased. The consequences that I have suffered can, and are being healed by my loving God. I need not hang unto them.
One consequence of my locking away my “issues” is that I have put myself on a shelf…a back shelf at that! I have allowed the memories of the past to hold me back and keep me from moving ahead in areas God wants me to move!
I still wish at times that I could lock ME up…put me away so I don’t make any more mistakes. But God does not desire me or anyone to lock thmselves away. We are to die daily to ourselves and step out in faith to do whatever He calls us to do. God is gracious. He is forgiving. He is love! “His grace is sufficient for me”. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”
These are the words I shall meditate upon; not the words in my head that were spoken from my past. I shall feast on His Word. I cannot put myself away. I cannot lock me up to assure I will sin less. That is not God’s way. I cannot store away bad memories and not forgive myself and those who hurt me in the past. That is not God’s way.
His way is love; forgiveness, openness, and honesty. He is my Healer. He is my Restorer. Rather than “store” myself away, I shall live in “restoration” by His Spirit.
Well, Uncle Bob, whoever you are…God has used your simple sign. We never know what He can and will use to set another free!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
The Time Has Come
Many people talk about the end times. There are new prophecies and predictions daily it seems. If you look at life through the eyes of the media, you could become quite distraught and fearful. The economy is terrifying. Jobs are scarce. Crime is rampant. But, I tell myself, the things reported on the news are just that...news. And "news" is supposed to be an unusual happening; something out of the ordinary. So, "why so downcast, O my soul? Put your trust in HIM".
Our economy has nothing to do with what is happening in the world. Oh, yes, I am affected by it all. My retirement funds are plummeting at the moment. The house I am trying to sell has been on the market over two years and sold six times, only to fall through one more time this week! Gas and food prices are climbing. Fear does knock at my heart's door also. My physical mind wants to react. In fact, my body is struggling with a nervous condition that doctors have yet to diagnose.
Ah! But my heart, the depths of my being, is not disturbed. You see, I have a choice. I can believe the reports of the economists, doctors, and commentaries, OR I can believe the report of the Lord. I choose the latter. I have friends and family members who insist I should "look around and get real." I do look around. But in so doing, there are choices on what my eyes focus on. I can focus on the "reality" of the circumstances, which may seem bleak, or I can focus on the Word of the Lord.
The Bible is full of stories of faith. People who looked around at their circumstances and then looked to the God who rises above all circumstances. I think of the woman who had only a little grain and oil in the midst of famine. Had she focused on her "reality" alone, she would have perished. But she chose to trust in God and share her last crumb, discovering that God had no famine. He who created all became her supplier. I think of Paul and Silas who were jailed for doing what was right in God's sight. How unfair! Justice had not prevailed. Yet, they sang to the Lord until the walls literally shook and the bars opened. They did not envoke a lawyer, fight for their rights or demand justice. They sang. They worshipped. They trusted God. And they received deliverance.
I think of the many stories of provision...in the wilderness...in Egypt...in the Promised Land...wherever God's people were, there was need for provision and faith.
Oh, some of my acquaintances say that these are just stories handed down from unreliable sources. I suppose that one could choose to believe that. But more modern history suggests that those who had faith in the impossible, those who believed in a loving and capable, personal God, were able to endure much longer than those who succumbed to fear. While I noted that "news" is supposed to be the unusual, I admit that we do not hear news of miracles too often. Why is that? Are they passe? Are they over and done with? Were they just wishful thinking and made up stories I think not!
I think the reason is two-fold. One is that perhap miracles are not so unusual. Perhaps they occur daily. So common, in fact, that we miss them. We fail to see the hand of God in our provision, in our daily protection. The second is that we do not always listen to the right channel. There is an enemy who wants to seek, kill, and destroy our faith and our peace, at the very least. He is the power of the air. Our society seems to want to deny the existence of this being. They cannot deny the results of the existence of evil. That is what they parade on the news. But they try to explain it away with "circumstances". Therefore, we get caught up in listening to the reports of the enemy and begin to allow fear to reside in our minds.
There are true miracles happening every day. There are many foreign lands where missionaries report "unusual" happenings from a human perspective. But those reports do not air on the common channels, and are ridiculed if attempted to be.
That is why the Word says to talk about them among yourselves and pass them on to future generations.
I made a "Memoirs of Faith" book for one of my grown children for Christmas last year. In it, I reported acts of God in provision, healing, protection, etc. that our family has experienced. I reported the heritage of faith handed down from previous generations. I don't know if it has been read yet, but I know that some day they will need it.
Yes, the time has come. Time to change the channel. Time to write down the works of God, even the small ones, to meditate upon. The time has come to exercise our faith; to put aside fear; to stand against the trend of society. The time has come for me to write regularly in this blog and I intend to do so!
To God be the glory: Great things He has done!
Our economy has nothing to do with what is happening in the world. Oh, yes, I am affected by it all. My retirement funds are plummeting at the moment. The house I am trying to sell has been on the market over two years and sold six times, only to fall through one more time this week! Gas and food prices are climbing. Fear does knock at my heart's door also. My physical mind wants to react. In fact, my body is struggling with a nervous condition that doctors have yet to diagnose.
Ah! But my heart, the depths of my being, is not disturbed. You see, I have a choice. I can believe the reports of the economists, doctors, and commentaries, OR I can believe the report of the Lord. I choose the latter. I have friends and family members who insist I should "look around and get real." I do look around. But in so doing, there are choices on what my eyes focus on. I can focus on the "reality" of the circumstances, which may seem bleak, or I can focus on the Word of the Lord.
The Bible is full of stories of faith. People who looked around at their circumstances and then looked to the God who rises above all circumstances. I think of the woman who had only a little grain and oil in the midst of famine. Had she focused on her "reality" alone, she would have perished. But she chose to trust in God and share her last crumb, discovering that God had no famine. He who created all became her supplier. I think of Paul and Silas who were jailed for doing what was right in God's sight. How unfair! Justice had not prevailed. Yet, they sang to the Lord until the walls literally shook and the bars opened. They did not envoke a lawyer, fight for their rights or demand justice. They sang. They worshipped. They trusted God. And they received deliverance.
I think of the many stories of provision...in the wilderness...in Egypt...in the Promised Land...wherever God's people were, there was need for provision and faith.
Oh, some of my acquaintances say that these are just stories handed down from unreliable sources. I suppose that one could choose to believe that. But more modern history suggests that those who had faith in the impossible, those who believed in a loving and capable, personal God, were able to endure much longer than those who succumbed to fear. While I noted that "news" is supposed to be the unusual, I admit that we do not hear news of miracles too often. Why is that? Are they passe? Are they over and done with? Were they just wishful thinking and made up stories I think not!
I think the reason is two-fold. One is that perhap miracles are not so unusual. Perhaps they occur daily. So common, in fact, that we miss them. We fail to see the hand of God in our provision, in our daily protection. The second is that we do not always listen to the right channel. There is an enemy who wants to seek, kill, and destroy our faith and our peace, at the very least. He is the power of the air. Our society seems to want to deny the existence of this being. They cannot deny the results of the existence of evil. That is what they parade on the news. But they try to explain it away with "circumstances". Therefore, we get caught up in listening to the reports of the enemy and begin to allow fear to reside in our minds.
There are true miracles happening every day. There are many foreign lands where missionaries report "unusual" happenings from a human perspective. But those reports do not air on the common channels, and are ridiculed if attempted to be.
That is why the Word says to talk about them among yourselves and pass them on to future generations.
I made a "Memoirs of Faith" book for one of my grown children for Christmas last year. In it, I reported acts of God in provision, healing, protection, etc. that our family has experienced. I reported the heritage of faith handed down from previous generations. I don't know if it has been read yet, but I know that some day they will need it.
Yes, the time has come. Time to change the channel. Time to write down the works of God, even the small ones, to meditate upon. The time has come to exercise our faith; to put aside fear; to stand against the trend of society. The time has come for me to write regularly in this blog and I intend to do so!
To God be the glory: Great things He has done!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
His Desire
Sometimes my heart is fickle! It rejoices in God when something exciting happens. It cries out to Him in pain! But, sometimes it does not focus on His love and mercy and grace! Sometimes I get side-tracked by the mundane issues of life.
I am currently facing changes in my life. I am a person who puts my whole heart and soul into whatever I am doing. I see projects through to the end. I eat, sleep, and drink whatever job I am assigned to....usually to a fault. This sounds like a great employee or volunteer, but it allows for a tearing up of my heart on the inside whenever that job or project ends, especially if someone ELSE ended it.
So, I try to turn my eyes upon Jesus. I believe in delighting in Him. He promised that if we would do so, He would grant us the desires of our hearts. That becomes a problems when my heart is fickle and doesn't know what it desires!
I am learning though, that when I am truly delighting in Jesus, that He is what my heart desires! His will! More of Him!
"May He grnt you according to your heart's desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May tha Lord fulfill all your petitions." Psalm 20:4 &5
When my desires becomes His will and purpose for my life, then they will be fulfilled! And, so will I!
"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
So many times, I have "tried" to delight in the Lord in order to get my way; to get some desire of my heart. Usually, it was for rescue or help in the time of trouble. We have only to look to the Lord for help. When my heart becomes consumed by my problems to the point where its desire is just to get free of those problems, my heart has been out of focus. My heart's desire should be about Him and His calling on my life. My interpretation of "delighting" becomes skewed and confused, UNTIL I truly do spend time with Him and He becomes my focus.
It's funny how time spent with God changes my heart's desires so they line up with His desires for me. I must put my mind at ease remembering His desires are for my good and not for eveil (no matter what I've done); and to give me a future and a hope!
Yes, I'll say it again...When my desires become His willand purpose for my life, then they will be fulfilled...and so will I!
I am currently facing changes in my life. I am a person who puts my whole heart and soul into whatever I am doing. I see projects through to the end. I eat, sleep, and drink whatever job I am assigned to....usually to a fault. This sounds like a great employee or volunteer, but it allows for a tearing up of my heart on the inside whenever that job or project ends, especially if someone ELSE ended it.
So, I try to turn my eyes upon Jesus. I believe in delighting in Him. He promised that if we would do so, He would grant us the desires of our hearts. That becomes a problems when my heart is fickle and doesn't know what it desires!
I am learning though, that when I am truly delighting in Jesus, that He is what my heart desires! His will! More of Him!
"May He grnt you according to your heart's desire, And fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners. May tha Lord fulfill all your petitions." Psalm 20:4 &5
When my desires becomes His will and purpose for my life, then they will be fulfilled! And, so will I!
"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
So many times, I have "tried" to delight in the Lord in order to get my way; to get some desire of my heart. Usually, it was for rescue or help in the time of trouble. We have only to look to the Lord for help. When my heart becomes consumed by my problems to the point where its desire is just to get free of those problems, my heart has been out of focus. My heart's desire should be about Him and His calling on my life. My interpretation of "delighting" becomes skewed and confused, UNTIL I truly do spend time with Him and He becomes my focus.
It's funny how time spent with God changes my heart's desires so they line up with His desires for me. I must put my mind at ease remembering His desires are for my good and not for eveil (no matter what I've done); and to give me a future and a hope!
Yes, I'll say it again...When my desires become His willand purpose for my life, then they will be fulfilled...and so will I!
Monday, October 18, 2010
His Mercy Endures Forever!
Mercy! Apparently that's a word that falls easily from my lips. My husband says I awaken many mornings and say that before I am fully aware. It probably comes from teachings I received in my younger days about calling on mercy and grace...shouting "mercy!" to troubles and problems.
Yet, I have lived much of my life not appropriating mercy in my own life. I made decisions and then, if there were consequences of these decisions with negative affects, I would blame myself and feel as though God would not help me out of those circumstances. After all, I brought them on myself by some hasty or till-thought-out decision. Therefore, I reaasoned, I should have to bear the consequences and not beg nor expect God to bail me out. Sounded reasonable. Left me defeated.
Recently some changes in my life have been plaguing me. Some are related to decsions made with good intentions, but perhaps, not of the best choice. Other changes caused by other people's decisions were leaving my heart torn apart.
So, we were singing in church about the mercy of God. His mercy is forever...He is good...etc. I was worshipping, yet struggling to keep my mind off my problems and pain. Suddenly, it was like God said to me, "Mercy is favor you don't deserve in the first place, so why are you rejecting it because you think you deserve the consequences you are facing? Are your decisions powerful enough to over-rule my mercy?"
Wow! I had not thought about the fact that by hanging on to my pain and fear, I was actually rejecting the mercy of God. I don't deserve His intervention! But it is not because of the decisions I made, but rather just because of my humaness, and Jesus chose to over-rule that a long long time ago! I could have made better choices and still not have deserved God's mercy! That's precisely what mercy IS! Undeserved favor and grace! I cannot earn His mercy! If I could, it would no longer BE mercy!
Yes, God is good...ALL the time...and His mercy endures forever! AMEN!
Yet, I have lived much of my life not appropriating mercy in my own life. I made decisions and then, if there were consequences of these decisions with negative affects, I would blame myself and feel as though God would not help me out of those circumstances. After all, I brought them on myself by some hasty or till-thought-out decision. Therefore, I reaasoned, I should have to bear the consequences and not beg nor expect God to bail me out. Sounded reasonable. Left me defeated.
Recently some changes in my life have been plaguing me. Some are related to decsions made with good intentions, but perhaps, not of the best choice. Other changes caused by other people's decisions were leaving my heart torn apart.
So, we were singing in church about the mercy of God. His mercy is forever...He is good...etc. I was worshipping, yet struggling to keep my mind off my problems and pain. Suddenly, it was like God said to me, "Mercy is favor you don't deserve in the first place, so why are you rejecting it because you think you deserve the consequences you are facing? Are your decisions powerful enough to over-rule my mercy?"
Wow! I had not thought about the fact that by hanging on to my pain and fear, I was actually rejecting the mercy of God. I don't deserve His intervention! But it is not because of the decisions I made, but rather just because of my humaness, and Jesus chose to over-rule that a long long time ago! I could have made better choices and still not have deserved God's mercy! That's precisely what mercy IS! Undeserved favor and grace! I cannot earn His mercy! If I could, it would no longer BE mercy!
Yes, God is good...ALL the time...and His mercy endures forever! AMEN!
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